Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255 Available 24 hours a day
SUICIDE NOTE
My lips taste the gun and it tastes just like salvation
Cold steel on my tongue and it's dogging my salivation
Powder residue and an exit wound will be redemption
Hemmingway, Cobain, and Hunter S the congregation
I'm throwing in the towel, man, I can no longer fight
Too many goddamned hardass daystoo many sleepless nights
Just another suicide will be one in a million
It doesn't matter anyway to the rotting vast cotillion
chorus
I'm writing this all down but no one will ever read it
As soon as I'm all done I'm gonna motherfucking burn it
That way it's a gift to all like Jimi's burning Strat
Or maybe it's a gift to none I guess it could be that
I'm sobbing uncontrollably scared shitless of this ending
Just one twitch and soon enough there'll be no more pretending
I can't stop the flow of life remembering through my soul
Goddamn, make it stop, one twitch, oh shit I lost control
chorus
Click, combustion, bullet in the head
Yes it is salvation time
Suicide is no joke. If you're feeling like shit call the suicide prevention hotline 1-800-273-8255. Hang in there. Dave
Dave Linantud - guitar and vocals
Brian Lutz - bass, engineering, mixing
C.J. Johnson - drums
Ian Burke - mastering
Recorded and mixed at Possum Studios
NOTES WITH "D"
- What is everyone wearing?
- Beatles reference at ONE MINUTE!\
- Stone Dust Riders shout out AGAIN!
- Island Boys and Kona shout outs.
- Dennis recounts his "story" which is in quotes for some reason.
- DoomED Cookie not Doom Cookie.
- The Legend of Sporadic Sunjam
- ...then Murkwood
- ...then CIRCLE FRIGGIN' 9!
- Dave and Dennis mistakenly and repeatedly refer to Paul Ketterman as Paul Kelley, (editor's note: SORRY PAULS!)
- Quick mention of making shirts with Justin.
- Then Dennis took some time off.
- Then Dennis joined Stone Dust Riders (editor's note: they get more mentions than Society Fucking Fringe Players!)
- Brian asks Dennis to discuss his gear.
- "Balance is the key, the Yin Yang."
- How to braid a single pubic hair.
- Circle 9 shenanigans such as Dennis's xylophone part.
- Let's get Todd to digitize the Circle 9 movie THE CRACKER GETS THE CHEESE!
- The fellas reminisce about the CD Release party for IF IT WAS UP YOUR ASS YOU'D KNOW IT
- Then they play "Name That Beatles Song."
TIDALWAVES
Silent sound don't mean much to me
Silent sound brings out the worst in me
I wonder should I lock my door
And hide away in my hideaway?
Violence found don't mean much to me
Violence found beings out the worst in me
I wonder should I lock my door
And hide away in my hideaway?
Hideaways mean a lot to me
Tidalwaves bring out the best in me
I wonder should I lock my door
And hide away in my hideaways?
In my hideaway
Tidalwaves
https://pearlygoats.bandcamp.com
NOTES WITH THE GOATS
- What t-shirt is everybody wearing?
- Paul had to talk into the room mic for the drums. It was moved to a stand in front of his chair.
- Drummer problems in common.
- Alaska and "music shed" building.
- CIRCUS Magazine and sewed rats.
- Brian and Dave say "nice" way too much.
- "The Baltimore Band Spiderweb"
- Editor's note: Thank Jeebus for Brian being there to get things back on track.
- "Have yo ever seen Loraine?"
- Stone Dust Riders shout out.
- "Holy shit that's long as fuck!"
- Thunder Muffin.
- Editors note: this is like a bunch of old guys having overlapping conversations about the old days.
- "Game Of Thrones" meets "High School Musical."
- "There's not going to be any potable 'wooder' so we must drink the blood of the animals we kill."
The trio discuss working out, AZT as sinus medication,and then Dave has mic problems. With tech issues resolved they resume the conversation by pining for a Circle 9 reunion. Then they do math, discuss construction projects, badmouth painkillers, breakdown SFPodcast005 (NARCISSISTS!), get into the several Star Trek TV shows, break KAYFABE, what part Brian would play on the TV show "Vikings," and Jon Snow says hello.
- Beatles mention in the first seconds
- Star Wars or Firefly realm?
- After this Dawn's jettisoned, Elvis is jettisoned, Angel White is jettisoned, and Baby Blue takes center stage.
- Dave talks about the first 3 times he saw the Replacements
- Brian talks about skating in DC
- Then the fellas talk about game and Filipino food.
- Brian talks about In Droves' last show and Secret Crush Society Fringe Players
- AJ from the beatings
"I'll put my rock and roll boots on to get the paper."
- Then they do math to try to figure out the years of cars.
THE ORPHAN
Affectation to affection can you find a new direction
From obliterated years in a lifetime full of tears
Crawling from the wreckage of forgiven sin
Oh, sweet addiction, I can't stand rejection
Well I tried to choose a wish but I hope it don't come true
'Cause every life's a style, everyone but you
Don't you know that I wrote this for you to listen to
Contrivances breed gloom
Swooning like a groom with a shotgun in his mouth
Who's my momma and my poppa?
Why we never met?
Even so I ain't dead yet
Were you hungry or depressed?
Do I have your eyes?
Either way your souls are blazing through my skies
Don't you know that I wrote this for you to listen to
Affectation to addiction placate fact from friction
And a lifetime came and went in solitude
Can you hear me?
Are you blind?
Words jump down around around around around
A quietness
a Whisper
I wrote this for you to listen to
Every night the light dims more
I'm wondering what my life is for
I feel like a failure and I wonder why
Something inside says I gotta try
I'll slide on by
Well you could say in my life I ain't accomplished a thing
Maybe a little too scared of what the day may bring
But come on and try to tell me that this ain't my time
You can see it in the sunset every single night
I'll slide on by
I hoped you'd say when I couldn't find my way
That you'd be there for me
Glory is gone
It never was an option
What can I say
It ain't free
You know I'm scared
More fragile than a notion
Afraid of love and trust
Understand
Confusion is reality
I'm overwhelmed
You and us
So fuck you all
You turned your back on someone
Needing hope and peace
Go run and hide
Blame it on rebellion
That's bullshit, man
At least
Suit of armor forged in fires of spite
Revenge is true violent love
Don't give a fuck
Existence is a lie
From underneath
And from above
So go on and leave
Take your shit and go
I don't care
That's a lie
Leave me be
Leave me the fuck alone
Sit on down
And fucking cry
I'll slide on by
Dave Linantud: guitars and vocals
Brian Lutz: bass, engineering, production
Andy Och: drums
Ian Burke: mastering
Made Hood: cowriting
Recorded and mixed at Possum Studios
Well, back to work and school for everyone, right? We'll drop the finale to Act 6:Baby Blue next Monday. In the meantime, this is the legendary "Brian Surgery Podcast" from the late winter or early spring of 2016. Brian and I had yet to actually undertake our schedule of releasing a song and a song commentary on our podcast each week. We were recording a handful of "theme" podcasts that weren't "opera specific" in case we hit a snag somewhere along the line. We recorded this a couple of days after Brian had hip surgery. We shared his drugs and experimented with a remote set up. We had yet to hit upon a formula. Along with Brian's doctor subscribed addictive narcotics I made some edibles to push us further into "I don't think this makes sense" territory. For the record I channel my inner Ian MacKaye/CM Punk, straight edge icons they be, whenever we play or record music or podcasts. Likewise I channel my inner Graham Hancock when I'm writing or doing research. I'll include my original notes in full. I hadn't yet worked up a formula with which to publish the commentary tracks. Enjoy!
Dave
From the original notes: Dave's mic's fucked up some. Is it aimless? Pretty much but Brian just had surgery! "Death In Her Heart" - collage audience. "Good music ain't ever gonna stop being made." Entertainment Weekly respects Science Fiction. Cigar tobacco is the dumbest drug in the world besides junk food.