I've puked more whiskey than you'll ever drink
I've forgotten more shit than you'll ever think
I kick more ass than Chingiss Khan
I'm an egomaniac running rampant on the man
Kiss my cynical ass you clueless motherfucker
I'll make sure I'm fucking your wife and your mother
Here's my fingers and here's my fist
Lay low the arrangement if you get my gist
The cream rises to the top I'm a dreg in the bottom
I met Abe Lincoln and I motherfucking shot him
It doesn't make a difference what anybody thinks
So what so where so how you blinked
Got fire in my eyes and blood on my face
Drop the green flag, bitch, so let's start this race
Hubba hubba hubba here comes trouble
Cut me some slack now don't bust my bubble
I come halfway around the world to fight
So let's get this party started right
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Once upon a time there was a punk ass Indian
He fucking pissed me off because he took all of my winnings
In an Alabama bar abutting Louisiana
So I followed that boy straight up through Texarkana
And some G-man chump out of New York City
My mission is seek revenge on pity
I say hubba hubba hubba here comes trouble
I'll reduce this town to smoldering rubble
Billy Redfoot, hell, he won my hyde
He got more than money, boys, he stole my pride
So I'm on his ass like a meth head on blow
Shit I followed them all down to West Mexico
Hell I even heard tell that he's headed to China
I'm on the pacific you know I will find a
Way to wreak revenge on theonly man ever
Laid claim to my crown as the best gambler ever
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I Lived in the shadows while I plotted my revenge
Every scenario of torture and pain
Pliers and razors and electric cables
Chains and hooks and bloody horse stables
Break every metatarsal with sadistic glee
Fill his lungs with gasoline and then light the sneeze
Dig my thumbs in his eyes 'til they're wet with goo
Sharp razors laced through his stupid shoes
Sulfuric acid to scar them legs
Then make him crawl and make him beg
The worst part's I might hurt my knuckles
The best part's I will watch him buckle
Hey there, boy, here I stand let me proclaim
I am here to remove from you all but your name
For the beating I serve up shall be more than blood
That spills from you like breath from a newborn and 'cause
You have ruined my life I shall extract your soul
From your life force and then I will highly extol
My instance as the man and then you as the bitch
So just give me the pliers so I can scratch this itch
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That bating that I threw down it almost took his life
It felt so good to see him cry right in front of his wife
So I admit it I just took her through a bag atop her head
Tossed that boy out like the trash top of the world, yo, I'm kicking ass
We got up to my yacht and then I said said she could go free
She said her husband's not a man why the only man here on Chin Pau's me
I got all of the money and I got that piece of ass
Fuck all day drink all night hey shit, y'all, let the good times blast
It's like I took my inner good and set that bitch on fire
I'm still a young man, as it goes, but hell it's all time to retire
I'll sleep on piles of money and I'll never be alone
It's amazing on the China Sea well shit, man, I'm finally home
Hey, baby, Daddy's home
Dave - guitars, vocals, piano
Brian - bass, engineering, mixing
Andy - drums and percussion
Ian - mastering